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December 19, 2003
Trust
What is trust? Webster's says:
\Trust\, n. [OE. trust, trost, Icel. traust confidence, security; akin to Dan. & Sw. tr["o]st comfort, consolation, G. trost, Goth. trausti a convention, covenant, and E. true. See True, and cf. Tryst.] 1. Assured resting of the mind on the integrity, veracity, justice, friendship, or other sound principle, of another person; confidence; reliance.
You want other definitions, and there are plenty, go here.
'L' broke my trust in her. I am no longer sure anything she's told me was told with integrity. There can be no reliance on her at this time. I trusted her implicitly. Everything was right with the world.
Every time I saw something odd or out of place, I would question her lightly on it and get answers I was OK with. But I didn't delve deep into the questions. I trusted her not to lie to me. Not to tell me things that were untrue. Not to hide things from me that she knows would hurt when finally seen.
How do you rebuild that trust? What do you do to fix that problem? How do you learn to forgive and how do you forget enough that you are not questioning everything. Right now, every statement she's made to me is clouded over with doubt. Every word she has ever said in confidence and in friendship is tarnished.
We had a fantastic five days. I don't want to look at them with doubt and remorse. I want to remember them for what they were: the best five days I've had with someone in a really long long time. The only way to do that is to rebuild. The only way to rebuild is to forgive.
I hope I have the strength to do that.
Posted by Samer at December 19, 2003 02:27 PM
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